courage over confidence
When I work with people one-on-one, a common theme is confidence—individuals feeling like they’ve lost their confidence or wanting more. This often arises when we’re stepping into an uncertain time, the unknown, or a new chapter. During these times, subconscious fears are triggered and resistance surfaces, and if we aren’t conscious, they can take over. Humans long for certainty and comfort, but it’s actually embracing uncertainty and stepping out of our comfort zone that makes us feel alive. Something my dear friend Helen Gazzi said to me in an Insta Live we did together really resonated: three simple words, "courage over confidence." We become more confident only through acts of courage.
Understanding the Difference
Confidence is a state of being self-assured and having trust in one's abilities. It's often built on past successes and positive feedback. Confidence feels good; it’s comforting, empowering, and provides a sense of control.
Courage, on the other hand, is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, or uncertainty. It doesn’t rely on past achievements but instead demands action despite the presence of fear. Courage is often uncomfortable, yet it’s in this discomfort that growth happens.
It’s no wonder we wish we had confidence because it feels comfortable! As Brene Brown says,
"You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both."
Notice Your Resistance
When life is asking more from you notice what resistance crops up—whether it’s procrastination, self-doubt, self-criticism, negative "what ifs," or self-sabotage—notice it for what it is: your subconscious fears trying to protect you.
Common fears you might experience are:
Being judged
Coming across as stupid
Not being good enough
Falling flat on your face
Failing
Your resistance is your inner world speaking to you. It’s your job to question your resistance to gain a deeper understanding of what’s limiting you. For me, resistance often appears as self-doubt, feeling nervous and not wanting to do something. When I questioned this response, I discovered that the underlying belief is ‘I’m not enough’ and the underlying fear is the fear of looking stupid and the fear of falling flat on my face. When you next notice resistance crop up call it out for what it is and then question it. This has helped me massively in not letting my resistance get in my way. Explore the below journal prompts
Self-Discovery
What is my biggest form of resistance?
Where does this come from?
What is it protecting me from?
What goal would I set if I wanted to change it?
A goal of mine
One of my goals was to help people feel more in charge of their inner world and as part of my mission, I built an online course called "Elevate Your Life" with all the teachings around this. To build my course and find my tribe, I had to overcome a huge fear of mine: being seen.
I never used to be a big fan of social media and self-promotion, but I realised that was telling me more about myself. It was showing me my fear of being seen and being myself online in a way that resonates with my message. I began to question everything that surrounded this fear of being seen and it led me deep within myself. To overcome this I got so deeply in alignment with myself, my offering and my message. I created a powerful affirmation to keep resistance at bay and me moving towards my vision. I consciously chose to flex courage, be bold and do things anyway.
Getting clear on your goals and visions and being curious about what’s getting in the way will help you to show up in life more authentically and courageously. Even if it’s one thought or small act at a time.
Explore Coaching
Over the last few years I have loved working with people in a coaching capacity 1-1 or in groups on Elevate Your Life. It really is an honour and privilege to help people explore themselves, expand their capacity and get to where they want to go. If you’re ambitious and want to get more into alignment with yourself, or you’re feeling resistance because you’re stepping into a new phase in your life, or you want to move through fear and find your way to courage book a 30/40 min discovery call with me below. This is a relaxed conversation to see whether I can support you in your phase of life and if you’d like to embark on a coaching journey.