Overcoming the 'I am not enough' belief
The universal limiting belief "I am not enough" underlies much of our surface-level behaviour. What do I mean by surface-level behaviour? This is how we respond in difficult moments, when things feel uncomfortable, when we need to step out of our comfort zones, when we’re going through a period of change, uncertainty, or a transition. It’s normal for these periods of our life to cause us to feel anxious, to self-doubt, to worry, to procrastinate, to avoid, to seek comfort, or to numb out (this is the surface level behaviour). It’s okay that these might be our initial responses, but in order to prevent these habitual reactions from sabotaging us, we need to understand the layers behind them. Often, a core belief is "I am not enough," which leaves us feeling unworthy.
Where does the ‘I am not enough’ limiting belief stem from?
The limiting belief "I am not enough" is imprinted on us from a very young age. Western culture, in particular, teaches us that we need external validations—such as success, wealth, and approval—to feel valuable. It instills the notion that to be successful, we have to be better than others, be competitive, and constantly appear to be winning. From a young age, we are compared to our peers and siblings. If you’re a straight-A student, you might carry the burden of needing to perform well to feel enough, as that’s when you received praise and felt worthy.
When we are born into this world, we aren’t born with the belief that we’re not enough. In fact, we are born into unconditional love and knowing our worthiness. This limiting belief is something that gets imprinted on us over time. Generally, society, teachers, parents, and communities don't instil this belief from a bad place. While it's challenging to completely avoid the formation of this belief, we can begin to counteract and rewire it.
What is your relationship with this belief?
You may not be affected by this belief other than one area of your life, or perhaps it’s an underlying tone that affects you in general. Take a moment to tune into the feeling of being 100% enough and ask yourself the following questions:
If I knew that I was enough, how would I be feeling? (You can ask this question and think of a particular situation)
If I knew that I was enough, what would I be doing ?
If I knew that I was enough, what would I be thinking?
Notice now the energetic space between your current self and the 100% enough version of you. It may be tiny or it may be a lot, but most likely there is a little bit of room.
Examples of the ‘I am not enough narrative’
A brief story of mine
I’ve spoken about this many times, but within myself, I carried the belief that "I am not smart enough." I remember struggling to read out loud in class when I was young and feeling immense shame and angst. Later in life, when it came to presenting, I felt very nervous and didn’t believe in myself. As I started to explore the nervous feeling, this belief was revealed to me.
While it no longer sabotages me, I still might feel a bit nervous before speaking publicly. However, it’s becoming more familiar, and it's something I celebrate once I do it. I wish I had known this belief was sabotaging me when I worked in a PR firm and had to present to clients, as I struggled with confidence and didn’t have anyone to guide me.
A friend
I have a friend who’s been thinking about starting a business for many years and is 100% capable. I asked her to imagine herself running her business—who she’s talking to, what she’s doing every day, etc. Once she had an image, I asked her, "What is stopping and blocking you from moving toward that place now?"
The answer is usually two-fold: practical stuff and mindset stuff. She told me it’s because she didn’t feel worthy enough.
A client
I have a client I am working with who is a mother, wife, and successful writer living a beautiful life. She is on a spiritual journey towards greater abundance and internal freedom. Through this work, she noticed that the "I am not enough" belief was deeply ingrained in her.
As a small girl, she was training to be a dancer and every day faced scrutiny over her looks, weight, and body. Even though she eventually gave up dancing, it left her with a core belief of not feeling enough.
How to overcome the belief?
From my own journey with this belief, I am now 100% in my worth and feel more and more worthy, in alignment, and connected to myself through continuous self-discovery. However, I wouldn’t say that the belief is completely gone. In my case, I don’t think it’s a bad thing because it resurfaces every time I step out of my comfort zone. I tend to see it as a sign of growth.
What Can You Do to Nurture and Shift This Belief?
Discover the root cause of the belief. Where does it come from for you? Once you know that you can start to love and honour that version of yourself. You can hold space for it when it comes up and talk to that version of you like a best friend.
Find an opposite belief that feels possible. It could be as simple as ‘I am enough’ or ‘I am good enough’ or ‘I am worthy’. Choose something that you can begin to lean into and believe.
Consider, don’t force. We can’t force ourselves to believe the replacement belief but see if you can consider it.
Tune into your body. A negative core belief lives in your body so get curious as to how the new belief sits in your body when you consider it. Visualise yourself in the new belief to bring it to life. Breath it into every single cell of your body. Tap your body whilst saying the affirmations.
Celebrate yourself. When you’re doing things that demonstrate your enoughness and the new belief, celebrate it every single day!
Interested to explore limiting beliefs within yourself? Book a discovery call with me to learn more about coaching and how it can help you step into your most courageous self.